So a few weeks ago L accepted the new fellowship so he will be leaving. The first week I was really sad and not sure how I wanted to proceed in the relationship. Part of me wanted him to just go away as it would prevent me from getting any more attached. But we hung out a few times that week and it was so nice that I decided meh I'll just enjoy the time we have left. He has made remarks about me moving to Cincy, but the reality is that I have a great, unique job and team here. I have a mortgage, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us for there to be some big inequity and risk one of us resenting the other if it didn't work out. Perhaps our paths will cross again in the future.
So the last week or so I've come to accept that there is an expiration date and really I'm fine with it. I think I was more anxious about the uncertainty and now that I know and have come to terms with it its fine. Maybe I am getting better at managing my girl emotions :p
In other news, my mom has been acting really weird the last two weeks. Usually we talk every other day and she's usually always really happy to talk to me and always says I love you etc. she has talked to me _once_ in the last two weeks and thats after I called her a dozen times and even texted her husband wondering what was wrong. When we did talk she was a complete bitch -- had a angry antagonistic attitude. Kept telling me she wasn't mad which was ironic as she had one of the most angry tones when she said it. So weird. I tried calling her today and ... no answer.
I really don't know what she's upset about, but I know her well enough to know that she's upset about something. I didn't go to nasvhille for easter as she asked me to. But she only gave me two days notice and I alreaday had plans + a house guest in town that weekend so there really was no way for me to go.
Part of me wonders if maybe one of her friends saw L and I out somewhere. We go to a lot of nice restaurants and places and certainly it would be possible. If they did, then it would probably be vary obvious that we are a couple. We do cute couples things like hold hands at the table sometimes. When we're standing waiting somewhere he'll rest his head on my shoulder, etc. Just normal couples-ey kinds of things. I hope thats it. I hope one of her haughty friends saw us and made my mom embarrassed. She needs to get over this shit. I'm fucking 28 years old. I'm extremely responsible, intelligent, great work ethic, blah blah -- I mean as far as sons go-- things could be WAAAY WORSE. To a middle-aged "mom" -- I've got to be awesome on paper (besides the gay thing maybe) -- so she should be proud of her son and happy that she clearly did something right. And stop getting so irrationally upset because I happen to like guys. Fucking moms...
Steve
Happy Thanksgiving!
1 year ago
2 comments:
Hi there, Steve
I'm glad to hear you've reached a state of contentment with what's happening between you and L. I think it's a shame that you have to part company - you seem very well suited to each other - but that's your decision. Enjoy the time that you have left, and try to keep in touch afterwards.
Your mother sounds furious. One way to find out why might be to write to her - just a short note, perhaps saying something like, "You seem to be angry with me. I don't know why - what's the reason?".
I agree with you: you're an adult, and entitled to live your life as you see fit - and that includes having a relationship with someone you like. Your mother might disapprove, but I think she has to learn to accept it too.
Take care
Mark
That sounds familiar. Doing "couple-y" things is part of the fun of being a couple, tbh. DJ and I do the same (did the same, will resume doing the same?) sorts of stuff when we were out. My mom asked about what people would think if they saw us in public, and so on.
Post a Comment