And of course things were going too well

So as I mentioned a few blog posts ago (or maybe the last blog post) there is a wrinkle in my relationship with L. There is some drama in his phd program, and it may be in his best interest to go to another program in a different state pretty far away (very far away). He was accepted to that other program, so he will probably be moving in the summer. He has a few "hail marys" that would keep him here, but otherwise, he will be moving.

As a rational person, I obviously want him to do whatever is in his best interest. In his field, the graduate mentorship and post-doc positions are very important. However, as a human, I can't help but feel quite sad about this.

He came over last night and we talked about it a fair amount. He feels strongly for me, and wants to stay in Memphis, but knows that he has to do what is right for his career. He said that he is "in lesbians" with me (a scott pilgrim reference, which means he loves me), and that "these things never really end". I certainly agree with all of that -- and perhaps our paths would cross again one day.

So I'll keep my fingers crossed for "hail marys" and if it doesn't work, then this will have just been a very fulfilling relationship-- albeit short-lived. The unfortunate part is that I know that the L's of the world or relatively rare. I think I'm a bit of an odd-duck myself (point of pride)-- how frequently do you run across another science geek, caring, cute, not perfect, somewhat arrogant, sarcastic, playful, classical-music-loving, art-loving, foodie guy that you just click with on many levels :/ I'll say that in 28 years Ive found few...so.... probabilistically the odds aren't with me to find another in the near term. My window is closing-- I'm getting old.

Fuck the world.

A Not Happy Steve

One month in

So friday was the one month mark for the guy I've been dating, which I will call "L". Things are going really well. We seem to click on a lot of levels-- we definitely aren't identical people but we are similar in the things I find very important (career drive, studious, intellectual, empathetic, caring, romantic) and congruent in the things that were are dissimilar. After four weeks with multiple "dates" per week, this is probably the most promising start to a relationship that I have had.

So hurrah for that-- the only bad news is there is a lot of drama going on around his PhD program right now-- the net result is that he may move if he gets a spot in a program that he is currently waitlisted. So that would suck big time. But you know I can't do anything about that. I can however have a good time at the moment and if nothing else I'm learning a little bit about myself and have proven the fact that while unlikely (from past statistics) another person can make me very happy--happy enough to sacrifice my time and possible future pain and heart-ache.

A Very Happy Steve.