Smart and Successful

Sorry this will be a little 'reflective'...

I just finished reading (listening to the audiobook of) "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell. All of his books are interesting, and really 'up my alley'. This particular book is about challenging the typical (at least western) intuition about what makes people successful. Certainly in America, there is conventional wisdom that successful people are the smartest and brightest-- that they are talented. And that what made them successful was their own personal effort and achievement. This 'pulled up by the bootstraps' kind of mentality certainly was apparent to me when I was in middle and high school and university.

The purpose of the book is to show that often times, if not all the time, success is much more a product of extraordinary but arbitrary circumstance. This isn't to say that successful people are not partly responsible for their success, but that it is not as large of a factor as one might suspect given our cultural biases.

For example, the book opens with an interesting observation (and I'm getting this stats wrong, but they're really close): if you observe 'successful' hockey players in north america (NHL, etc.) there is an interesting stat: 40% of successful hockey players were born between January and March. Another 40% between March and June; only 10% of 'successful' hockey players were born between October and December! The reason for this is that the age cutoff for league play when you are a child (like 8 y/o) is Jan 1st. Thus, if you were born really close to the first of the year, then you would be held back, and the next year the league you joined would be almost 12 months older than you December bday buddies. When you are 8 y/o 11 or 12 months of development makes a tremendous amount of difference: you are bigger, stronger, more mature. You are able to gain a false sense of confidence because you excel over your 11 and 12 month old team mates. When the scouts come to recruit into the youth competitive leagues, these are the kids much more likely to be recruited. In competitive leagues, you practice 2x as much, and get much higher quality coaching than recreational players. So by the time you enter high school or college-- you really are better and more talented! And this is all due to an arbitrary differentiation based on birthday. This has nothing to do with talent or skill-- but something completely arbitrary. The same can be seen with kids who were held back in school in kindergarten and first grade: they are slightly older, and slightly more mature. This allows them to master the material just a little better, and whats more important is they believe they are smarter, and this belief drives them to be even more academic than their peers who comparatively believe that they 'dont get it' or 'arent smart enough'.

I found a lot of this echoing my own life. I was held back in kindergarten. I was always one of the oldest in the class. I always felt that I was smarter than my peers in grade school, and was usually more well behaved. Now the book doesn't try to claim that these are alone reasons for success-- there are chapters on parenting and cultural legacies as well; but the point is that my birthday being in August and causing me to be held back was a completely arbitrary advantage that I was awarded for no effort of my own. I can see many of these small, coincidental, and arbitrary advantages in my life: I was arrested when I was 15 for making fake IDs for my friends. Its a story for another day, but it forced me to get a job and hang out with different friends. The circumstances that lead to this were very random, and yet this has CERTAINLY contributed to my success. I'm still very young (well old to some of you!), but I do feel like I have accomplished a lot for someone my age, and I am happy with my 'direction' so far. But I have to recognize that so much of this is not my doing, but through wonderful happenstance. It is humbling to recognize this, and that's healthy I think.

One thing I know for sure: when I was arrested or any of the other 'bad' things that happened to me when I was 14-18-- I hated them at the time. I thought I had bad luck, and that they were completely bad things. It was only a few years ago that I realized the amazingly positive impact that they had on my life. So if nothing else, please recognize that the bad things that happen in life may in fact turn out to be pivotal in shaping who you become. We can at least be hopeful that our pain has some merit-- if nothing else the hope itself has some utility.

As much as I complain about some things, I am happy that I am who I am. I have to recognize that both the 'good' and the 'bad' make me 'Steve', and for that I am thankful.

A nice treat for the (probably none) readers that made it this far :-)



Much Love,
Steve

Puppy!

My big project at work is done, and we made our date, so I should get my big bonus $$$ at christmas time! I think I want to take a trip somewhere. I've never been to Canada, and I've heard there are some fun things to do in Toronto. I've also never been to Seattle. And I would love to visit the UK again. Or I could pay off my student loans-- that would probably be the 'responsible' thing to do.

In other news, I had a great time with my 'fag hag' Nikki on Saturday. We went to a really nice restaurant, ate a great meal, and chatted for a few hours. Around 11PM it turned into a kind of upscale bar with yuppie-chic music, etc. I certainly didn't mind the scenery of nice looking guys :-) Nikki hounded me for not 'getting out there' and finding someone. I have a really bad self-image problem. She says I'm crazy, which is nice of her...but knowing something and doing something are completely different things.



Lastly, this weekend and whole week, I am taking care of my moms dog, Maggie. She is on vacation with her, um... 'gentleman caller' in Mexico, and I'm in charge of the dog. I love dogs, and Maggie is still a puppy which means she won't stop chewing on my fingers. Her teeth are like razors!! Although thankfully, she seems to be doing well with the whole 'going to the bathroom outside' business. Here are some pics-- she is adorable.




Much Love,
Steve

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night

So long ye folk of Blogland... at least for the next week! (this is me being coy). Did my title trick you into thinking I was leaving forever? (this is me blinking, realizing no one is reading). Sorry, cheap ploy-- although I don't think it would really matter (this is me looking for attention).

All this week I will be in Dallas, TX as the lone team member trying to 'triage' any problems that come up with our product. When you write software, you go through many stages: there is a period of 'construction' where everyone is writing code and the product is generally unstable. Then you go through 'integration' where all the pieces have to fit together and play nice with each other. Lastly, there is a period of 'quality assurance' where the code is frozen and the test team exercises the code to find bugs. So if QA finds any problems, development has to 'triage' the bug, and determine the risk/impact to the software. Then a decision has to be made whether or not the bug is serious enough to stop shipment of the product. For us, this week is our last week-- our 'general availability' (GA) date is 7/20. We have a very low number of bugs right now, and those will all be fixed with our second release candidate on Monday. So QA is still pounding on the system all this week, and my role is to support them and when something comes up, to solve it quickly and make a go/no-go recommendation. It will be a stressful, long week :-(



My two team members somehow convinced management to let them take a five week European vacation starting last thursday... don't ask me how-- it makes no fucking sense why on the eve of the biggest release of this product they would allow them to leave the country for five weeks (they are from Europe so they want to see their family, which is fine-- but not my problem, really).

So, it's just me... wish me luck guys!!! I'm feeling a bit sassy like the cute guy in this pic :-)

Much Love,
Steve

es ist Bruno!

So I watched Bruno, the new Sacha Baron Cohen movie, tonight. I still do some side work for a movie theatre chain, and know all the managers- so I get to see movies early if I happen to catch them when they are screening them.

Let me preface this by saying that while I fancy myself an 'intellectual' person who doesn't piddle in the pedestrian dealings of the common man....thats all bullshit. I am not hung up on being politically correct all the time-- if something is funny I laugh. I believe we can laugh at ourselves, when its meant in jest; laughing at pain and hard ache is something different, of course.

Borat played on a fine line of offensive and funny. I laughed, but wasn't sure if I should have. I felt the same for much of Bruno. Bruno, like Borat, is funny because it captures candid reactions from people that are facing their 'worst fears' in social stereotypes. Borat was the inappropriate, obtuse, and rude 'tourist'. We aren't supposed to laugh at tourists, because they are supposed to be incredulously well-intentioned. Borat forced people into a corner, where they didn't know how to react. Often this was awkward and funny. If reality television has taught us anything, it's that we love watching people squirm. We laugh at embarrassing situations... I'm not really sure if this is good or not-- but I can't deny that I find it entertaining. Although I find masturabation entertaining too... I guess they are both self-serving.

Bruno is the homophobes worst nightmare. Not only is he effeminate, but he is relentless and uncaring of the clear discomfort of his audience: he calls the angry army sargeant a 'she', he tells the ex-gay minister he has nice 'blow job lips', he makes very obvious advances (and strips) in front of conservative presidential hopeful Ron Paul. He is not just gay-- he is inappropriate and aggressive. I am pretty sure that even I, as a gay person, would be uncomfortable in a room with Bruno. So I don't think you can construe Bruno as making fun of gay people-- I think its so over the top that normal people understand that "Brunos" don't exist. And if they do-- its not their homosexuality that is discomforting its just their plain disregard for other people's attitudes, comfort, and personal space.

So yes, after the first fifteen minutes, I laughed. I laughed a lot, and had to cover my eyes at some points because it was so uncomfortable to watch: he goes hunting with the straightest southern guys in Alabama and tries twice to get into one of their tents nude; he calls hotel staff into his room to unlock he and his 'sex slave' who are hand-cuffed and bound in leather with dildos- because they can't find the key; he gets a hollywood agent to setup a meeting with a top network exec to focus group a 'pilot' that is nothing but him dancing and making fun of Jamie-Lynn Spear's baby fetus.



The climax of the movie is one of the most awkward, embarrassing, and unfortunately real scenes I have seen. Bruno decides he wants to become straight and after 8 months of 'therapy' hosts a 'cage fighting' event with $1 beers (typical homophobic red-neck lure, see poster picture). Then he riles the audience up for fighting by stripping girls down to bikinis. He goes on a diatribe about how straight he is, and then someone calls him a 'fag' from the audience. He invites the heckler into the ring. It's another character from the movie who had a falling out with Bruno earlier. In the ring, they fake fight a few minutes ending in a staring match, and then the staring turns into obvious sexual tension, and they kiss. The kissing escalates into very homo-erotic humping, making out, etc. The crowd goes ballistic-- they hurl beers at them, at one point a chair thrown into the ring-- it is absolute mayhem. I just don't know how the police were able to control this without someone getting killed. I have never seen such a riot. It was like a car wreck-- I didn't want to watch, I didn't want to laugh-- but I couldn't take my eyes away. If nothing else, Sacha Baron Cohen has enormous balls.

So after typing this, I'm not sure how I really feel about the movie. I'm glad I saw it- I definitely laughed really hard. I'm not sure how I feel about the 'ethics' of the movie, or if its good that it exists out there. Or whether it would be better/worse to live in a world where this weren't funny. More questions than answers... however, I suppose this is the best result of reflecting on things.

What are your thoughts?

Much Love,
Steve

Grrrrr... get off my lawn!

Ok- so I've already conceded that this 4th of July holiday sucks. I've had to work all day. I had plans to go to the lake with friends, but because of work... I couldn't go. And they decided just to call and harass me to get down there... bastards.

Now I've come home to eat real quick and watch a little TV before going back to the office. And during this whole time, I swear EVERY ONE of my neighbors is shooting off fireworks. I don't dislike fireworks, but it sounds like they're shooting them off in my lawn they are so loud. I feel like I need to gear up for battle or something.

Besides that it has been a very depressing day. Oh- but I did buy a few 'geek' t-shirts. I kind of don't like being 'that guy' that wears the clever t-shirts, because I don't really want people looking at me to begin with...



Here's a really hot guy that looks just like someone I know... me! No no Im joking... if only :-)



Much Love,
Steve