New Years Eve Resolution...aka Im stoopid

Well my annual new years trip to Atlanta has finished, and I'm still in a daze about the whole thing. This trip was already looking up, because we had a new person planning to come along. I will call him X for the moment.

An outline of the trip is as follows:

1. Toured about the city a bit checking out gay bars, and noticing how many seedy sex shops there were


2. Visited the High Museum of Art. They had a wonderful architecture exhibit, which I enjoyed immensely. I liked some of the contemporary art as well, but some was just plain strange. I am not educated in art, and thus I can only experience it in a naive way. Maybe this ignorance prevents me from seeing the true artfulness of some pieces...


3. Shopping! We explored a few token gay shops. Next we went to Atlantic station, which is home to many typical clothing shops. Lastly, went to Lenox Square, which had everything. I bought a CK shirt, and a J Crew sweater, gawked at the prices of the Zegna clothes, and left.


4. Dinner at the Atlanta Fish Market, which was hilarious, because my friend accidentally insulted the waiter in front of his face, and that just shaded the whole meal...it was great. I tipped the waiter very well to make up for it ;-)


5. Visited three gay bars: (1) BJ Roosters, which had some nice go go boys; (2) Mixx, which only had 4 customers, and (3) Burkhearts, which features terrible (but funny) karaoke


6. Lunch at the Dwarf House, which was the original Chic-fil-la. It was interesting because it was a sit-down, diner-style restaurant. Great waitress...one of few that didn't scream in our ears.


7. More shopping!


8. Ate dinner at Bricktops. This place was wonderful; we imbibed two bottles of wine, and just had a fantastic meal.


9. Went to Swinging Richards, which is an all-male strip club...but its not as seedy as it might sound :-/


10. Enjoyed a few ipod's worth of VIP treatment from Keenen, who is adorable, and actually a super nice guy


11. Bought a VIP room for X, which I think he enjoyed ;-)


12. We left, and I tried to help person X get to the car and not collapse! Apparently he had drank way too much...which is probably my fault for not stopping him sooner. I have apologized a thousand times since of course.


13. For the rest of the night I was helping person X not die from choking on his own vomit (yuk!)...but in all of this I found out that apparently we have very strong feelings for one another on many levels

I'm not sure how much I can blog about person X, because I believe that links to my blogs might be in my tweets somewhere. Whatever--I try to be an open person; alas- if he finds it, then he finds it... I'm not much for secrets; I prefer openness, honesty, and trust. Truth be told, I have liked X for quite some time--since I first met him. I always felt that he would be someone that I would be compatible with.

If you have read some of my previous posts, you would know that I am a bit of an odd duck. I am very confident and happy about many parts of my life, and incredibly insecure (like 14 yo girl insecure) about others. This insanity has prevented me, I think, from having a real relationship in the past. As an engineer, I am compelled to plan and over-think everything. Thus, my self-perceived inadequacy has prevented my 'plan' from really including a significant other.

Regardless, this trip experience may have actually made a dent in my 'wall' that I constructed to prevent from getting hurt. By keeping people just a bit away from me, I could control the situation better. Since I didn't feel it possible that someone could actually be attracted to me, this was a nice arrangement. Person X has shown me that this is, in fact, completely false. Note that many people in my life, including blog-world's own Nic have tried in earnest to make me realize this before. But knowing something rationally and actually experiencing it and living it--are vastly different things.

So the logistics suck, because we live many hours apart from each other, but I'm going to allow myself to try. We are going to keep in close contact, get to know each other better, and figure this out slowly. In the worst case, I'll have a great, close friend...in the best case...who knows ;-)

But I haven't stopped smiling all day :-)

Much Love,
Steve