One sided conversation with Lloydie

Lloyd sent me a skype message earlier when I wasn't in front of my computer. For some reason, I was in a strange mood to ramble on for a while about nonsense faux-philosophy so I wanted to record it here for me to re-read when I'm all wrinkly and old ;-)

[9:26:05 PM] Lloydie!: why are you here?

[10:16:11 PM] Steve: well this is quite an existential question!

[10:16:23 PM] Steve: why am i here personally? or why are we here as sentient creatures?

[10:17:11 PM] Steve: I'll speak for myself personally. I am here because it is the natural consequence of my 27 years of actions. They have culminated into one moment, *this* moment, in which I am _here_

[10:17:46 PM] Steve: had any one of these moments or events been different then I wouldnt be _here_ -- I would be _there_ or perhaps over there

[10:17:59 PM] Steve: the fact that I am here right now is an amazing coincidence really

[10:18:43 PM] Steve: if you were to spin the "slot machine" of life-- where every rolling dial represented each event that conspired to make _here_ here, then it is an amazing feat that I happen to be so lucky to have found myself here!

[10:19:32 PM] Steve: It's like I was the only customer buying tickets to the "steve lotto" and I WON!

[10:20:09 PM] Steve: and perhaps you did too -- I mean if I had not won this strange lotto then you wouldn't be here either (with respect to my _here_ at least)

[10:20:15 PM] Steve: so we're all winners really

[10:20:21 PM] Steve: and that's interesting and kind of amazing

[10:20:55 PM] Steve: i mean in all seriousness -- it is humbling and rewarding to realize that each moment we experience something that feels mundane-- but in fact we just discovered another piece of our puzzle

[10:21:13 PM] Steve: a puzzle where each action has both expected and unexpected consequences

[10:22:19 PM] Steve: a puzzle that is both scary and rewarding! one day (hopefully) far in the future we will look back at the script we wrote and think about if we like the story or not. If we felt that we did the best we could with it-- maybe we wished we could do a few rewrites of some sections, but alas-- its a permanent marker

[10:22:52 PM] Steve: So hopefully-- when I look back in my later years and re-read my "story of steve" Ill think back on this time fondly and realize that I did ok

[10:22:58 PM] Steve: and that i looked ok

[10:23:18 PM] Steve: and that all the things that I worried about and lost sleep over really were ok too

[10:23:23 PM] Steve: hopefully that will be the case

[10:23:36 PM] Steve: and maybe then i will really appreciate where i am at _that_ point

[10:23:46 PM] Steve: ill be happy with the "here" that I created

[10:23:58 PM] Steve: part by chance, part by sweat, tears, love, and hard work

[10:24:07 PM] Steve: and that "here" will be just fine indeed

[10:24:24 PM] Steve: quite a long way from "here" right now-- without a doubt

[10:24:27 PM] Steve: but ill get there

[10:24:30 PM] Steve: from here

[10:24:31 PM] Steve: in time

[10:24:35 PM] Steve: with my friends

[10:27:50 PM] Steve: and my penis

Always nice to end on a sentimental note :p

Much Love,
Steve