I have been absent for the last two weeks from the blogosphere, because I have been working 14-18 hours a day for almost three weeks actually. Very little time for anything else unfortunately. I look forward to catching up on whats going on in everyone else's lives.
Today was the second worst day of my life.
The worst day of my life was the day my dad passed away. Today was almost as emotional and terrible for me. I, if you can't tell from the above paragraph, am a bit of a workaholic. I make up for having a dull social life by working a lot. I loved where I work, because I love the people. My boss was a mentor and a friend. He was there when my dad died, and has been an excellent boss and colleague.
Today, every single other person in my office-- my mentor and boss, my developer collegues, all of my closest friends in the QA group--- EVERYONE except me and two others were laid off. One of my best friends, Matt, was let go, and now he's pretty sure he is moving back to TX...so I won't hang out with him any longer, I guess.
So I have lost almost all of the friends that I have, my mentor|father figure|boss, and am now working for a new boss-- an unqualified moron. I felt so lucky to work with such excellent people. We were an excellent team, and its completely insane that they would let such great talents go. I left work early, because I was very emotional, and in the car I cried harder than I can remember. I only remember crying so hard one other time in my life (see above). This is the end of a big part of my life, that I didn't want to end. I wish the economy were in better shape...
So now I have to figure out what I want to do. I do not want to work for this stupid company. I also want to leave Memphis-- I hate it here, but my mom is here and she is doing really well here. I think I need to go visit Austin, TX and Seattle, WA. Both of these are cities that I think I would LOVE. The other bad thing is, I really want to finish my degree, but I can't leave the company, otherwise I have to pay it back. If, however, I get laid off, then I get it free and clear! I wish I were finished now so that I could just ask to be laid off too, and get the fuck out.
This has been a no good, miserable day...and I know that its a turning point in my life. Typically, you don't realize how life changing something is until much later. Today, right now, at this moment-- I know my life is changing. I hope the future is brighter.
Much Love,
Steve
Happy Thanksgiving!
1 year ago
7 comments:
Steve, that's really rough.
*hugs*
I hope the others who were kept on, or at least one of will, are/is good to work with.
It seems that, basically, you're stuck there until they decide to let you go or you're ready to pay back what they've paid for your education. Not a nice spot to be in. So somehow you'll have to adjust to the new situation. Mainly to deal with the new boss. The main thing is to remind yourself that he's the boss, so there's nothing you can do but take his orders. Of course, depending on how receptive he is to suggestions, you can offer your thoughts, and if he accepts your ideas, it's a little bit less bad.
IOW, don't drive yourself crazy thinking about things that would be better but you know are not going to happen. Concentrate on what you have to do, and make realistic plans for how you can get to a better place.
I went through that several years ago and it was horrible. We went from 15 people to 4 in one day; luckily, we were sent to go eat breakfast for a few hours so we didn't have to be there for the trauma.
Hang in there!
Naawwwwwwwwwwww. :(
That really sucks man.
*pouncehug*
Aww steveo you poor boy :(
*hugs*
They are talented people who will find new jobs and excel in them. I have no doubt that you had an effect on their lives aswell.
*more hugs*
<3
That's terrible!! In a way, it seems like you lost more than co-workers and friends - they were like family to you?
I can't believe that - well, I guess I can, with this economy - such a thing would happen so suddenly and just thanks and goodbye to them.
Definitely take some time and hit the road and go visit those places. I URGE you to do that - don't let anything hold you back from your dreams/desires and the next phase of your life.
Although, how much longer do you need to finish your degree - maybe there is a way you can swing that in first?
But either way, do what YOU need to do to make things happen in a positive way.
*hugs*
hi Steve,
First, I am so sorry that you felt so terribly today. In times like these, the internet is really quite useless. I can twitter you and facebook you and myspace you to no virtual end, but in the end, it's a real human hug that's invaluable. I hope you had someone at the end of that car ride today to give you one of those hugs.
Second, sometimes things get a lot darker before they get brighter again. I still remember the day I literally lost everything in my life--job, friends, relatives, every earthly possession I owned. The guilt, the solitude, the emptiness will threaten to overwhelm, but it's a wave you learn to ride. And one day, you will end up on a new shore.
Aww...Steve buddy, that really sucks. *hugs* I know how it feels to lose friends, but in my situation it was me who did the leaving. I packed up and left to pursue my career. I kept in touch with a few people, but drifted apart from most of them. But to lose someone as close as your boss is to you...that's hard. Well, i'm here if you want to talk my friend. Try not to work so hard, though i know how being a workaholic is too. I say move to Seattle! Then we can hang out! :D
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