I have always had strange fortune cookies. The strangest was one that read: "On the way to work tommorrow, turn left when leaving your house." I still have this one today, because it was creepy. Everyone else had "happiness is the essense of bliss" and shit like that...mine- a prophetic message of future terror!
Yesterday, at dinner, I got one that said "Tommorrow will be a very productive day; don't oversleep!"
As I mentioned in my last incredibly long post, the club I went to gave my credit card to someone else--so that was already bad enough to ruin my trip. My plan was to leave nashville at 10am and get home around 1pm to spend the day on other things.
I awoke at 8:30 this morning before the alarm clock. I thought to myself, wow that fortune cookie must be accurate- I didn't oversleep! I left on time, got 50 miles outside of town and received a phone call from the movie theatre...nothing was working! It was like a nightmare- I was walking them through things while trying to avoid getting in a wreck. About an hour into it, it was clear that I needed to get internet so I could remotely see what was going on.
I don't know if you've been to middle tennessee...but not a lot of wifi around. About one hour from Memphis, I found a McDonalds that had wifi advertised! woo hoo- things were looking up! I brought my laptop in to find that the church crowd had just let out...with ALL of their children. I don't have a problem with children as long as they aren't screaming, pooping, vomiting, running, talking, shouting, punching, or making funny faces--in this McHell-hole, each of these participles was occurring in spades.
I finally got online after a bit of trying, and then for the next TWO AND A HALF hours tried to figure out what was wrong. This is two and half hours of people coming and going...all with kids...all screaming. Everytime I was on the phone- the person on the other end thought I was in a slaughter-house. At 3:30pm I conceeded that I needed to turn around and go back to Nashville. I get there and set things in motion to "start from scratch" all of the work I had performed on Saturday.
A few hours in, I decided to just double-check a couple of things. I found that I had missed something earlier...something simple...trivially simple...insultingly simple. I fixed it, sighed, cursed greatly, and packed up. This is a little before 7pm-- I had wasted the whole day- sung the entire Rent soundtrack thrice, and was really ready to go home.
About 80 miles after I left, three cars, a few hundred feet ahead of me, got into a huge wreck. A number of us pulled over to see if we could help. Everyone was fine, but one car had flipped completely over.
It is now 10:30, over 12 hours since my original departure time, and I have accomplished nothing except screw myself out of a Sunday. I cannot recall a day where I have been so UNPRODUCTIVE.
But I didn't oversleep...
Much Love,
Steve
2 comments:
Fortune cookies!?!?
Who was who said if people don't believe in God they'll believe in anything?
Well, at least now you know that fortune cookies are useless, except for a bit of carbohydrate.
I once got one that said, "The light of the moon is greater than the light of a thousand stars."
"plate"
Haha! wow that is wrong on so many levels- thats funny.
There are many Ive seen that really seem like something was lost in translation.
Post a Comment