Looking back to my first blog post

I was just wasting time glancing back at old blog posts, and realized that I've almost been on blogger for four years.  A lot has happened in those four years.  I've finished another degree, had 3-4 "longer than one month" relationships, and grown quite a bit as a person.

Here is a snippet from my first post, describing myself:

So a little about me:

• I am 25 (I know, crazy old- I only started feeling old within the last year)
• I am a graduate student in Computer Science
• I am not stylish, particularly attractive, nor can I dance (we'll get to that in a minute)
• I am gay, but not stlyish, attractive, or dancy (well maybe not an ENTIRE minute).
• I am staunchly agnostic (next post)

It's so funny that I thought of myself as "old" at 25.  I didn't realize that I always "felt older" than my peers even back then.  How funny.  I'm now about to turn 29!? That's actually old!! What's funny though is I don't even feel that old now.  I feel great!  I was not nearly as healthy back then when I wrote this post, and I really do think being healthy changes your entire outlook on life.

I _still_ am a graduate student in computer science, but now am going for PhD and have finished the MS. Progress.

One thing that has definitely changed is my sense of style.  I kind of got "into" fashion a little bit-- I mean I would never say I'm "into" fashion, because I'm not, but I do like shopping and buying clothes now.  There are some clothes that just feel like they were made just for you, and wearing them makes you just feel better about yourself.  Maybe its all fake and stupid, but it makes me feel better and me, and there is some value in that.  So I would say that I am pretty stylish these days ;)  I still can't dance :p

I am gay.  The difference though is that now I think everyone in my life knows it, whereas in 2005, my work, mom, and some friends still didn't know.  I was kind of half in the closet.  Now all of my friends, work, and my mom and all of her friends know.  My mom and I don't talk about it, but that's going to have to change soon enough.

I don't know if I would call myself attractive still, but I will say that I am quite comfortable with my appearance and my body these days.  I have come a long way both physically and psychologically since I was 25.  I used to really hate myself and my appearance.  I don't anymore.  I'm really happy with a lot of things about me, and have enough confidence now that I don't care about the other things.

I'm claiming agnostic atheist now instead of just agnostic.  I don't think I really understood the definitions of these orthogonal concepts in 2008.

So four years down! Four years from now I'll be 33 :/  Here are some things I would like to see happen in that time period, and we'll do another one of these posts then:

• I would like to have a partner.  We live together and share our life together.  I wont jinx anything by saying who I hope this person to be, but regardless I hope by 33 I have a real/serious/long relationship and am in that mode.
• I would like to be living somewhere else.  I want to at least move to a different part of the city in the next year.  I hate the suburbs.  I'm so done with this.  I also am kind of tired of having a roommate.  I like my current one, but I don't "need" one anymore.  Ideally, I would be living in san francisco or atlanta.
• I would like to be earning about 50% more per year than I currently am.  I think in four years this is reasonable given my skill set and industry
• I would like to have completed my PhD.
• I would like to be as happy and satisfied with life as I currently am-- or better yet-- I'd like to be _more_ happy and satisfied :)
• I would like to have all of my student loans paid back and have a nice savings budget and travel budget.
• I would like to have seen more of Europe including France.

Much Love,

Steve